She is trying to outshine me

Sounds irritated rather than pleased when you have good news like getting promotion or meeting a fantastic new guy

Talks about herself like she’s her own PR person- full of what she’s been doing and where and why- without even bothering to ask you

Makes a jokey put- down about your passions, opinions and diet

Likes to tell you in detail about social events she’s been to through work or friends of hers you don’t know

Looks up and down from head to toe to check out what you’re wearing

The facts above are describing about a competitive girl that I ever be-friend with.

My close friend (let call her Anne) was a little competitive since we were in high school. She is the one those people who thinks that she is right about everything. Although she can be fun in a social situation, much of the time she makes me feel self-conscious and inferior. She’s always talking like she’s got 100 friends on speed-dial and has such a busy social life because she’s so in demand. Everything she says is to make some point about how popular she is. She’s so opinionated about what’s the best that she manages to make me feel inferior- like telling me the stuff ‘ I never travel to Kuching by Air Asia. I always travel by MAS’

A competitive Anne can often leave me a feeling hopeless and fearful. The more I’m with her the more my self-image plummets and the more at risk I’m buying into the competition because I don’t want to come across like a failure or get left behind. I feel completely invisible in her presence (when hang out with the guys) amd I also feel constantly angry that she is so hell- bent on making every guy on the room fall in love with her. I would dress to try to outdo - trying to steal her thunder. Finally I realized that trying to beat her to meet men wasn’t healthy and didn’t make me feel better about myself.

Well, I don’t want to get sucked in the situation. But if I don’t compete that makes her feel superior because she thinks she’s beating me at everything which is infuriating. If I do compete, I’m at risk of becoming pretty, shallow and pushy as she is, and is that what I really want?

Friends should be nurturing, celebrate your achievement, supportive and makes you feel better about yourself. But if a friends thinks that every life goal that you kicks makes her look less worthy, she is obviously a selfish and very insecure person. Too much competition is not healthy for a friendship in the lng term because it creates resentment and lack of trust.